Family Confections: 4th grade Thanksgiving writing assignment

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

4th grade Thanksgiving writing assignment

(Summer 2006)

School assignment - Turkey writing a letter explaining why he shouldn't be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner- by J- 4th grade.

To: Creepy Grenade Woman
Title: Old Lady
Egypt Corn Farm

Dear Creepy Grenade Woman,
I am writing to tell you that you really don't want to eat me for Thanksgiving. I am the skinniest, grossest, and most sick bird in the whole world. I do not eat anything, and if I did I would be a very picky eater. (I would only eat broccoli and moldy socks.) If that is not enough I get salmonella barf all the time and I smell like a skunk infested outhouse. If you need more reasons not to eat me I have more that are too disgusting to mention, plus I am dangerous, I know kung fue foot ball. Find something else to eat!

Your Arch Nemesis,
Barfing Joe
P.S. You stink like a camel!
P.P.S. So do I! and I have lice!

Apparently he got big laughs and cheers when he read this to his class. All his teacher wrote on the paper was "Gross!" That's what I say too.

2 treasured comments:

Katee said...: I love your creative discriptions. They really paint a picture in my mind. That is great writing!; November 23, 2007 at 10:53 PM
Anonymous said...: J I laughed so hard at your story. You are a good writer GP thought so too!; November 25, 2007 at 5:00 PM

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

things we never thought we"d say.....but we have!

Pickles are nature's way of saying, "Enjoy a cucumber this winter."
The science fair is not called "The Evil Science Fair" for a reason. We really should avoid blowing things up. That means no dry-ice bombs even if you claim to be doing research on greenhouse gases.
Mold doesn't grow that fast! If it did we'd all be covered in it and/or be dead. (Said in response to a daughter thinking mold had grown on her ice-cream in less than five minutes and she was going to get sick and die from it.)
Lift your arms so I can hit you. (A sister said to a brother)
I wish there were dogs in sacrament meeting. Then maybe R- would hold still on my lap and be quiet. (She's terrified of dogs.)
Don't eat cat food.
Fair is fair. If you get to shoot an apple off your brother's head, he get's to shoot an apple off your head.
Take the fork out of your nose! (said 5-22-08, and not to who you would think. Uh-oh!
You don't have throat cancer.
You don't have leprosy.
It's rough when my fans don't adore me.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hypothermia.
Mountain men don't wear short shorts.
Do you REALLY HAVE to talk like Tarzan at the table?
DROP the monkey!
There IS a striking similarity between the "Cowboy" dance and the "Potty" dance. It's easy to get them confused.
How do you spell "Mohican"?
Buffalo gives me gas.
Don't gargle your jello!
We don't throw snowballs at other people's Christmas decorations.
Get off your little sister, she is not a horse!
Take your underwear out of your mouth!
No singing with your mouth full.
Just don't lick the couch. Okay?!
Don't stick your nose in your sister's mouth.
That's what happens when you stick your nose in your sister's mouth.
Don't throw that salamander!
Stop hitting your sister with a lobster!
Take the plumb pit out of your nose!

Thoughts I live by

Don't take yourself too seriously.
Never participate in chain letters.
Don't worry about what others think about you because they're probably too busy thinking about themselves and worrying what others think of them to worry about you.
What you lack in talent can be made up for with determination and hard work.
Surround yourself with people and things that make you smile.
Find something you love to do and do it.
Find someone you love to love and tell them.
Take time to read a good book.
Dance whenever you can.
Elephants are always a good idea.

Some of Our Family"s Favorite Books

The Cronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
The Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit - by J.R.R. Tolkein
The Quilt Maker's Gift - by Jeff Brumbeau, Gail de Marken
The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey - by Susan Wojciechowski
Pride and Prejudice - by Jane Austen
Letters -by Marjorie Pay Hinkley
The Count of Monte Cristo - by Alexandre Dumas
Jane Eyre - by Charlotte Bronte
Peter and the Starcatchers - by Dave Berry, Ridley Pearson
the Mayor of Castorbridge - by Thomas Hardy
The Veil of Snows, A City in Winter - by Mark Helprin
A Series of Unfortunate Events - by Lemony Snicket
The Spiderwick Cronicles - by Holly Black