40 years

I'm now 5 months into my 40th year.  Forty, sounds so mature and accomplished like I should know what I'm doing by now. Unfortunately, I'm experiencing what I was told would happen, the more I live, learn, experience the less I feel I know. I'd like to think that what I'm experiencing is wisdom but I'm not going to give myself that much credit.

My parents were 40-ish when I came on the scene and by the time I could comprehend their life before me and their experiences they would share with me it seemed they had really lived.  They'd lived in Hawaii, owned a horse, lived in a house with a swimming pool, owned dogs I'd never met and traveled a lot, just to name a few of their experiences together. But then there were their childhood stories too; hunting in the hills of West Virginia, playing jokes on siblings, family owned diners in Oregon and long lost porcelain dolls.   There definitely had been a lot of living that had happened before and outside of the mountain home where I grew up. I was just sure I'd never get to do, or become, or have anything exciting.

Here I am looking back over my 40 years and by george I have a lot to be grateful for and there sure is a lot I've gotten to do, be and experience. It would seem I've had a lot of excitement too. I've really lived.
What stories of my childhood have I shared with my kids? Hiking in the mountains behind our house, being followed by a bobcat, playing night-games with all of the neighbor kids, taking my brother's bike without permission and completely totaling it by crashing into a tree, traveling to West Virginia, New York, Washington DC, Nauvoo, and Gettysburg.
Married life has brought 9 moves in 18 years (not nearly as many as my parents...(military)) and I've gotten to travel outside of the United States, twice. We haven't owned a horse or a house with a swimming pool and the only dogs we've had were after all of our kids were born, and I'm okay with that. Undoubtedly life has been good to me.

I've decided I really like 40. I feel good in my skin and that's a good feeling.

Looking forward 40 years is a funny undertaking. Our kids will be 57, 56, 53, 50, 47 and they could all possibly be grandparents! I most likely will be a great-grandparent!
That's kind of an exciting and perplexing thought.
I was talking through this issue with Rose and Hannah we decided it was funny we'd all be old together. I guess I kind of seem old to them now.
I decided there are a few things I need to remember when I'm 80+ years old.

• Please just get hearing aides. Everyone will be happier if you do. (However, hopefully they will find a way to fix hearing loss by then)
• Keep using the stairs, even when it's hard, it'll keep you around longer.
• Walk everyday. Don't stop moving.
• Dance everyday.
• Please pay attention to your blood sugar, I know it's a pain, just do it.
• Exercise your brain too, read and memorize.
• Go to the doctor if you're sick. Again, I know it's a pain but please just do it.
• Let your kids/grandkids plan and host family events.
• Don't be afraid to stop driving.

I'm sure I'll think of a few more, it's a list in progress.

I'm so happy with the life I've lived so far. It really has gone as a flash. There are times I miss simpler moments the ones before the kids had school assignments and soccer and music classes and dance classes and everything else....The funny thing is I'm pretty sure in a few short years I will miss the busy moments too, the evenings where we run from activity to activity and stay up late working on homework and finishing laundry.

Each moment has shaped and is shaping me and when I reach the end I'm pretty sure I'm going to look back and treasure each one.

That makes me so excited for the next 40+ years.

My Grandma S. told me once she wanted to live until she was 100 and die the next day just so she could say she'd lived to be 100.  She passed away 2 weeks before her 100th birthday. I say that totally counts.

I've decided I want to do the same thing, live to be 100 and die the next day.

In the mean time.

"...we would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Oct.2010, Of Things That Matter Most

This is my motto.

It was a rough weekend...

Last weekend was one of those times when everything just seemed heavy, wrong and difficult.

Earlier in the week our dog started eating less and having a bit less energy.

I guess we weren't too worried because she was getting older and she kind of normally acts that way when the weather changes.

But by Thursday evening she was not doing well.

First thing Friday morning I took her to the vet and her prognosis was not good.

I took her home and hoped to nurse her through the weekend until MDH and Duder got home.

Unfortunately, by Friday night it was apparent that she wasn't going to make it through the night.

Each of the kids said goodbye to her and we all cried.

She'd only been with us for a couple of years but she was truly a part of the family.

These pictures were taken the day we brought her to live with us.

Can you tell she especially loved MDH?

 She filled a place in our hearts we needed to have filled with unconditional, excited, happy, silly, slobbery, warm love.

Sweet Cheeks who started out being terrified of dogs, then called McCall her window dog because she like to watch her through the window, ended up being McCall's greatest fan.

Early Saturday morning McCall passed away in her sleep.

It was hard.

I wasn't sure what to do because I'd hurt my back Friday carrying our sweet dog to the car and back.

She wasn't a small dog.

So I called my neighbor and asked him if he could help me.

What a blessing good neighbors are.

He and his wife even helped to shovel the drive-way.

Calling my boy on the race and telling him about McCall was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

We were a pretty sorry sight around here all day Saturday, we were depressed and I was in pain.

So we went to see the movie Brave at the dollar theater. It was a nice distraction even if I did sleep through half of it.

Late Saturday, early Sunday morning, Sweet Cheeks  started throwing up........

As is often the case with little ones the stomach flu hit in the middle of the night and she didn't make it to someplace to contain the mess. Needless to say it was everywhere.

Around 4 AM MDH and Duder came through the door after driving all night, they were exhausted but happy and I was happy to have reinforcements arrive.

Unfortunately one of their team mates had gotten the stomach flu on the race and passed it around to everyone.

So my man and my boy got sick within a few hours of getting home.

I'm sure being exhausted from the race didn't help either.

Luckily only 3 of our 7 ended up getting it. That was a blessing too.

After spending Sunday cleaning and disinfecting and nursing I was exhausted both mentally and physically. And I was happy the weekend was over.

I think it's going to take a while for all of us to mourn our sweet McCall, but we are so grateful we were able to have her for the short time we did.

Today I looked out the back window into the yard and it just felt empty.

She was deeply loved. 

The neighbor who helped me this weekend has offered to give us a puppy when their dog has puppies in a couple of months.

I think I need a little time. It just feels too soon. The kids are split, a couple of them want a new dog right away a couple of them don't. I guess we'll see.

We were able to bury McCall by MDH's parent's house.

His mom even gave us a vase and silk flowers for us to put with her.

That really meant a lot to us.

Sorry if this post has been a bit depressing.

Thanks for reading.

Hannah took this picture last week when we were at Laurie's wedding.
I added the quote (one of my favorites, it's hung on the fridge for about 18 months now).
I think that once I get this printed up and possibly framed it'll look much better than the ragged paper I had hanging there.

The wedding was beautiful. I always get a little teary at weddings these days (I may be turning into a sentimentalist) but this one was particularly touching. I was just so happy for them.....for Laurie....she deserves a lot of happiness.

We're looking forward to General Conference this weekend. For me General Conference is like a shot of spiritual vitamins. I always come away from the weekend with revitalized resolve and peace. I love it.
I enjoy getting to visit with the family too. Saturday evening will be spent at Grandma W.'s visiting with the ladies and then enjoying donuts and rootbeer floats when the guys get back.

Hannah tried out for a musical this week. I think she came away from the experience a little wiser and feeling like she'd done her best come what may.
I came away hoping I hadn't failed my child and afraid of her feeling the bitterness of disappointment.
I can handle my own disappointments but disappointment for my child breaks me every time, no, it reaches into my chest and rips my beating heart right out and then sprinkles it with salt and lemon juice. And I'm not exaggerating!
Dancing was a pretty big part of the try-out.....she wished she'd been able to sing more, that is her thing after all....I told her to tell them her mom could tutor her on the dancing (she didn't ;o] )....So her call back was with two other girls, the director's daughter and a girl who'd been in a production with them last year. Kind of tough odds. She's hoping to just be a part of the chorus.
I'll keep you posted.

Sam, oh that boy.....he came home upset and trembling the other day....it turns out he'd gotten a warning slip at school that day for fighting, "and not the fighting with a weapon kind, but, kind of yelling and maybe pushing kind." (his words).
From what I can surmise he was standing up for himself and both he and the other boy got into trouble. Is it bad I'm proud of my boy for standing up for himself?
I was in my fair share of fights growing up, and not the kind with weapons but they did result in a bloody nose or two for the other person a few times.
He brought home a letter of apology to me and I had to sign it...oh, good times.

It turns out I've used up all of my free memory space on this here blog. After this post I need to either purchase more memory or start a new blog. I think I'm going to opt for the purchase part because it's actually pretty reasonably priced. Kind of a funny thought though that I've used up that much memory space. I guess you could say my photos are prolific and my writing is verbose.....Ha!
Once I get more memory I'll get those pictures of the girls up for you Mom W.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Not Sure Who Won

This picture is day 3 (in the morning)  of the black-eye and I'm still not sure who won the fight.

Probably because there wasn't a fight.

He and his friends were playing some sort of tag game, he and another friend decided they were going to corner or tackle another friend, the tackl-ee friend moved when the two boys dove and the top of co-tackler-friend's head collided with Doodle's face.

So I guess you could say the boy who moved out of the way won.

Doodle at the advice of his older brother has been telling people, when they ask, he was attacked by a wild cougar.

It makes me laugh every time.

Day 2 his cheek and eye were more swollen but less purple.

Tonight, the night of day 3, it's even less swollen but even more purple.

I hear it will look a lot worse before it's gone.

But at least it feels better for him.

Looks worse - Feels better, could be considered a paradox!

Which reminds me.

You know the Coldplay song Paradise?

He likes to change the words and sing

Para, Para, Paradox....

and then he laughs really hard

which makes me laugh

Because have you ever heard this kid's laugh?

It's one of those awesome you have to laugh too because his laugh is so joyful kind of laughs,

and I laugh 

because how many 5th graders understand the word Paradox enough to make a joke out of it

and change the lyrics in a song to sing about a it?

Not Many!

So I guess you could probably say I win!

Science Fair

Amidst all of the crazy we're working out a science fair experiment and project.
I enjoy the experimenting part, even the documenting isn't bad.
It's the getting it on a display board that kills me!
I know I need to let my son do most of it and he will/has.
But letting him is just so hard....
Particularly when we get to the science fair and see how many parents have done the displays for their children.....
However, I know he's learning valuable lessons and skills and that makes it so worth it.


Wish us luck.

Just Keep Swimming

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. What do we do? We swim....

Repairs are well underway and the roof is completed after The Great Wind Storm of 2011.

But guess what?
Life just keeps on keeping on.
That is, a pipe broke in our basement.
Yuck!
Water!
Yuck!
Cutting out wet drywall and wet insulation.
Yuck!
Trying to figure out how to fix buckling laminate flooring.
Yuck!

But really it could have been so much worse and I am so grateful it wasn't (we caught it fairly quickly).

So no worries. We had Chinese take-out tonight, so good!

We're keeping our heads up, above water at least and I'm keeping the crafty/sewing juices flowing.
Sharing soon.

Life's good!